It would be unnatural not to be depressed after the death of a loved one, a divorce, losing a job, or any other sad event. The sad person may be anxious, tearful, and withdrawn. This phase should be regarded as the resting time when the sufferer is adjusting to the loss.
antibioticsrx.com Depression Caused By Buried Emotions
Well-meaning friends often urge the sufferer not to cry. This is a great mistake. ‘Permission’ to grieve must be given. The pain or embarrassment of the onlookers should not be considered. If grief is repressed or pushed down (‘isn’t she brave, she is behaving so normally’), it may emerge later as physical or depressive illness.
Some people recover from chronic depression when a skilled therapist uncovers childhood trauma such as rejection, sexual abuse, or lack of love. For many it is only necessary to accept that their depression comes from ‘listening to old scripts’, and other people’s views of themselves. You could think of your mind as a cellar. If the door is closed, it stays dark and damp, and old fears and resentments grow like mushrooms. If fresh air is allowed in, and the walls are white-washed, it could be a storehouse for the fruit from the orchard. The decision to open the cellar door may be hard. It may appear to be safer to stay depressed. The choice is with the sufferer.
Since you were a child, your feelings about yourself have been formed from the opinion of those around you. These messages from the past should be left behind. They can be completely wrong or may have been misinterpreted by you. The feelings of the child ‘I must be a bad girl because mother/father has left me’, need not grow to ‘I must be worthless because my wife/husband has left me’.
As an adult you can let go of the past, ‘old scripts’, and other people’s opinions of you, and start being kind to yourself.
Forgiving brings great healing. You can begin by forgiving yourself for being such an ‘unworthy person’. Anger, hate, resentment, all dissolve when there is real forgiveness.
‘I will never forgive him/her’ really means that the child in your make-up is sulking.
Obsessive self-interest will soon make you a tiresome person, but compassionate self-awareness is essential if the quality of life is to be improved. Low self-esteem is a major factor in depressive illness.
Do you make any of the following mistakes